28

when i was little, every year on my birthday my mom would play a cassette that was a personalized birthday song. it was a space explorer named "zoom," who came to earth" just to sing happy birthday to me"... i can still hear the song in my head, thats how many times i heard it as a kid! the funny thing is, they apparently still make this (cd-of course!) i found the website...no joke http://www.captainzoom.com/index.html
so obviously today is my birthday & i am 28...it's probably been about18 years since i've heard the tape. i wonder if i'll do silly things like that for jackson! he's already had his first birthday...no zoom tape, but i did make him a special birthday breakfast & sang to him...so maybe i will...actually i know i will, i am my mother's daughter after all!
it's so funny how birthday's, as you get older, just become another day of the week that just happens to be your birthday! i don't mean that to sound pathetic...honestly! i actually have it pretty good because my husband's birthday is sunday, so we plan to celebrate together on saturday! it's so fun having such close birthdays...especially since john only started celebrating his birthday when he met me...3 years ago! his family doesn't celebrate birthdays! how sad is that!
anyway...this year will be especially fun because we'll have a baby-sitter! we don't get to go out together, alone very often so this is going to be great! last year jackson was only a few weeks old...so there was no partying! woohoo!!!
i'll look forward to tomorrow night but for today i'll just listen to the "zoom" in my head!
"my name is zoom & i live on the moon & i came down to earth just to sing you this tune...singing lauren it's your birthday, singing lauren happy birthday today!"

grandma

so...losing my grandmother this past weekend, has inspired me to blog it up again.... it is right now that a memorial service is being held for her in florida, 15 minutes left to the service then they all head off to the yacht club! sounds weird, but if you knew my grandmother or know my florida family, it is totally normal! actually they call it the "club." well i was so torn over taking the trek down there via car or plane...leave jackson, take jackson....2 days 5 days....it was really hard to decide, then i stopped myself when i reached an all time high stress level & realized, my grandma...of all people would NEVER want anyone to stress about something that had to do with her...so i decided to stay up north. i also know i am not religious by any means & do not need a religious ceremony to make peace & say goodbye to my grandma...i will always have her in my heart & have my own way of saying "good-bye" & i am happy to know that our "northern family members" are planning a get together to honor her memory in new jersey... besides, this photo is EXACTLY how i'll ALWAYS remember her! this was from last summer in upstate new york. my grandma organized a "family reunion" at my aunt jackie's. jackson was just over a month old...little guy!!! although no one spoke it, i think we all knew in our hearts that that would be the last time some of us would see her. i believe she knew as well for she was the one who got us all up there & flew up herself...mind you she hadn't left florida in years...10 plus at least! i will forever treasure the photos from that trip...this one in particular:) i am so so happy she was able to meet & hold her great-grandson! that is a major accomplishment in life! to live to see your grandchildren have children, WOW!
she was a wonderful great-grandma to jackson during his first year. the beautiful crib he sleeps in every night was purchased by her. she has sent him little gifts in the mail, like the stuffed santa at christmas he liked to suck on! she got kick out of that photo!
as my grandma, who could ask for more...a sweet, funny lady who's laugh i will NEVER for get...she would get into laughing about something & say "oh lauren!" she'd always say the persons name who said something funny or obnoxious while laughing...always! she was an observer...just wanted to sit back & watch her family & friends have a good time, because that always made her have a great time! thanks to her we had many florida vacations to her beautiful home on the canal! we'll all always remember jumping off that dock & swimming in the deep, kind of scary canal...the speeding boats, the occasional dolphin siting, "the don," a pink hotel metropolis in the distance...."the inspector," a white egret who always came to grandma's dock. my mom & i always tell the story about the time i caught a left flip-flop one day & the right one the next! so funny!
probably the last time we were ALL together, before the reunion, was for her surprise 75th...this party had everyone, including my mom & her entire family! it was a great time & a memorable one especially because of the guest list. that was 9 years ago...& here we are.
i will always have warm & fun memories of my grandma! we'll always laugh when we tell stories about her:) she a such a gentle nature & a fantastic sense of humor...we'll never forget you grandma...never
forever in my heart: ruth costello 1923 - 2007

obituary from the st. petersburg, fl times:
Costello, Ruth A. 84, funeral services are 11 a.m., Wednesday, July 25, 2007, at Pass-a-Grillel Community Church, 107 16th Ave., St. Pete Beach. A celebration of life and gathering for family and friends will follow immediately at the Pass-a- Grille Yacht Club, 2301 Pass-a-Grille, St. Pete Beach. A native of Paterson, N.J., and a local area resident since 1989, when she moved here from Glen Rock, N.J., she was a retired secretary for the Midland Park School System and a graduate of the Kathleen Gibbs Business School. She is preceded in death by the late Thomas M. Costello. She is survived by her loving family: sons Thomas A. Costello, of Redington Beach; Robert Costello and wife Lisa, of Mountain Top, Pa.; and Kevin Costello and wife Diane, of Union Beach, N.J.; daughter Jacqueline Costello-Haas and husband Ken Haas, of Sharonville, N.Y.; brothers H.E. "Bud" Allen, of St. Petersburg Beach, and Bob Allen and wife Jill, of Myrtle Beach, S.C.; sisters Betty Cheshire and husband Bob, of Glen Rock, N.J., and Anne Marie Mahoney and husband Neil, of Fishkill, N.Y.; six grandchildren, one great grandchild, and her "lifelong friend" Marie Stock of St. Pete Beach. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Hospice of the Florida Suncoast in memory of Ruth Anne Costello.

mom

so my mother was just here for a visit...i wish i could see my mom everyday. especially since i've had jackson, i'd love to be able to spend more time with her. we have such a good time that it's always a little sad when she leaves.
i am grateful though to be as close as i am to her. she is an amazing person and i can tell her anything...for real...anything. sometimes i want more for her than she gets in her daily life, but i know i can only do so much from where i sit. she deserves it though, thats for sure.
it's fun sharing this chapter in my life, as a mother, with my mother. she's in love with being jackson's "mimi," and i know in his heart he loves her the same...we know because he said so and i quote: "aaaalllllllllaaaaaaadadadadada!" it'll be a lot of fun as he grows and she'll get to do things with him like go to "build-a-bear" (totally where she wants to take him)!
in the mean time we'll keep up with our back-n-forth visits and look forward to the future:)

sticker on the door

so i couldn't quite finish my workout today because jackson was fussy in the daycare room! i could hear him crying as i came down the stairs from the gym. as soon as i picked him up from the lady's arms he stopped & put his head on my shoulder...it was heaven...it was a good mom moment for me.
as we were walking down the hall...his head still on my shoulder...the office door of an employee was open, and stuck on the inside of his door was this sticker..."may peace prevail on earth." it was then i thought, with jackson in my arms, this IS peace...if only the whole planet could feel it.

my snowy valentine

well it took longer to bundle him up than we actually were outside! none-the-less, it was adorable:)
john felt compelled to be outside shoveling because "all the other guys in the neighborhood are out shoveling!"
so he's hard at work "grunting" outside with all the other men! "grr..grr"
i am too warm all cuddled up on the couch with my laptop to go back out there! i had all the intentions of toughing it out to make it to the gym...um, not so much!
it's nice to finally see some "real winter weather" though! i was begining to become a little worried we'd never see a snow day!
it does make you think though, i mean doesn't it seem like snow was endless when we were kids? i have tons of snow day memories from my childhood. you know the ones...staying outside for hours, then finally coming inside when you officially lost all feeling in your toes & face. you walk in the door & mom yells at you to take off your boots & clothes because "you're going to get everything all wet!" layer by layer you are finally down to those thermals & socks. mom would put all our clothes on the space heater to dry while we had our grilled cheese sandwiches & chicken soup! our clothes weren't even completely dry by the time we thawed out for more play time!
i only hope jackson can have as many snowy memories as his mama:) hence bundling him for a five minute sleigh ride around the yard! totally worth it:)